The Real Reason I Don’t Answer The Phone When You Call

If you have my cell phone number and have tried to call me, I can guarantee that you have called me at least once and have not been able to reach me. I may answer the phone on the first ring, I might not. I may call you back within the hour, I might not. Unless you are my grandmother, I can’t make any guarantees that you will hear back from me at all.

I’m just being honest.

Here’s the deal. I am a classic textbook introvert. I thrive on being alone. My best ideas come when I’m in a quiet room. I live inside my head, and I focus deeply on my thoughts. I like peace, quiet, and being alone with a good book. That is when my stress and anxiety levels are at their lowest.

I understand that I have to interact with people, and when I do, I am all in. I am attentive, and I genuinely care. I like to have a good time and I love to laugh. When we are together we will have a good time, and when we are apart you have a special place in my heart. I am a loyal friend, and I will always be there when you need me the most.

However, I’m not avoiding your call because I’m an introvert.

I missed your call because I was having “me time.”

If you call me and I don’t answer, don’t be offended. It’s not you – it’s me.

There was a time in my life when I went out of my way for everyone I knew. I said yes to everything because I wanted to protect my reputation of being “the reliable one”. I cared too much about what people thought about me, and I lived my life to please others. I developed anxiety trying to make others happy and later allowed depression to creep in because I became mentally and physically exhausted. I thought being a “good Christian” was saying yes to every request, and rescuing every person that asked me for help. I gave so much of myself that I forgot to take care of myself.

Pour into yourself before you can pour into others.

It’s like what they tell you on the airplane. Put on your own mask first before you try to help someone else. How can you save someone if you are struggling to survive? You can’t.

  I’m a better wife and mom because I take care of myself before I interact with anyone else. 

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Ensuring your mental and physical health is the most important thing you can do for yourself. In fact, your mental well-being is crucial to your future. How you treat yourself today will yield results tomorrow.

Self-care is not just about taking hot bubble baths and getting pedicures each week (although that is always nice too).

• Self-care is knowing when to say NO.
• Self-care is setting boundaries with the people around you.
• Self-care is speaking up when you are being taken advantage of.
• Self-care is resting when you need to.
• Self-care is taking a vacation or trying something new.
• Self-care is spending time with the people you love most.

More than likely if you call me and I don’t answer, I am practicing self-care. I often take a daily break of “alone time” whenever I can squeeze in a moment for myself. Many times, that means staying up after everyone in my house has gone to sleep. I always urge women to get rest and relax, even if that means sacrificing something else. You need it more than you think you do. 

With all of the noise of social media and the hustle of life going on around us, I think many people have forgotten the importance of stillness. 

Sometimes, it’s the little things in life that can keep you upbeat and motivated. I love to laugh, so if I have the option, my movie genre of choice is always a comedy. I love going to the spa, so I use a body scrub in the shower to enjoy the scents. I love music, and there is always a song playing in the background at our house. 

To practice daily self-care, find the little things that make you happy and implement them into your daily routine.

Why I don’t answer when you call:

1. I’m taking a nap and my phone volume is on silent.
2. I’m praying.
3. I’m reading a good book or watching an interesting movie.
4. I’m creating something.
5. I’m playing with my kids and want to give them my full attention.
6. I’m with my husband and I want to give him my full attention.
7. I’m watching something funny.
8. I’m taking a nap.
9. I’m taking a nap.
10. I’m taking a nap.

What self-care techniques do you practice daily? Share in the comments below.